Completely and Utterly Vulnerable.

Yes thats what i am RIGHT THIS SECOND. seems like im so stubborn that i wont let myself take a chance or take it to hard. im so lost and confused, let me tell you. well actually second thought, its really hard to explain...follow me if you can. I met this boy. ok you might already be saying in your head "great! here we go again". People say he's seemed interested...but i dont see it...maybe cuz hes not or because im not letting myself see it...and im trying! he actually seems almost to good to be true... hes got perfect teeth, a beautiful smile, great hair, man is he muscular! and he seems super nice and funny. But heres the catch...ive got a curse. i seem to scare away boys i like and invite boys i dont want. i am so confused and lost. i dont know what to do. its so much easier to help two people come together or set them up or play cupid or matchmaker. but when it comes to me it seems like im "Hitch"...for real! everything goes wrong! and with this guy right now its even worst!! i cant even stay calm! usually i can...dude i couldnt yesterday!!! i was honestly being more an idiot than i am, and for those who know me THATS REALLY BEING AN IDIOT,  ITS WORST! its like he caught me off guard...but hes the catch...what about the other guy? one of my very best best friends? on his mission? I hate my life. just let me hibernate.